Dear Journal;

Well since nobody knows about this and is not likely to read it, i can write what i want here.

The burning issue thats come up for me today is the feeling that i really do not belong anywhere online. I do not get that i am welcomed or that anyone really cares one way or another that i am here or not.

It may or may not be true but this is the reality that i feel very strongly today.

And of course such negative thoughts make me very sad.

I can see how my thoughts are controlling my reality. I know my mind is a drama queen and thats what it is doing, creating drama, but even seeing this does not seem to break the pattern that i never really feel specifically welcomed anywhere. In fact all the talk about including everyone just serves to point out to me that i am the exception.

Maybe thats why it came up.

I just really dont know where this pattern came from.